Darkness
I look intently but I do not see the Light.
I listen, straining to hear, but to no avail.
Darkness presses close, tangible, as a heavy cloak shrouding me. The desires burn: fiery hot embers blazing within, but they do not produce light. A swirling maelstrom of selfish greed and desires inhabits my soul-drawing more and greater darkness unto myself.
I stumble down the path not knowing the way I go, never growing nearer to any destination: Falling and groping for things that I know not and with reckless abandon plunging headlong towards destruction. Loving yet reviling who and what I am.
Mocking what is good, sneering at those who profess to know: who can really know? A walking corpse, whose end is destruction, filled with hatred and fear, but what is there to fear?
There is nothing out there other than self and the accumulation of temporal pleasures that never fulfill. I am wrong, but what is wrong? There is nothing but meaningless and vain philosophies meant to salve man’s wounded ego but to no avail. You cannot salve death, it is final and it comes for us all. What is to fear? The other side? It is non-existent, a fairy-tale told to comfort the aged and the naive.
Yet why am I fearful? Why do others, I see them dimly, I hear faint voices, why do they seek the same respite as I? Is this our common fate? To fear what is not there. Are we all, without exception, fearful of what cannot be real?
How can I mock what is good if there is no good? Why do these desires never seem to be filled? Why does the fire rage, consuming, yet never satisfied? How do I know I am in the dark if there is no such thing as Light?
But there is Light and I run from it, hating what it illuminates. The disease of sin, putrid festering flesh that I live in, is there no cure? Why would I want a cure from something that does not exist?
Hope. I hear my name, yet it is so unlike my name it is barely intelligible. It is not a plea, but a command, calling down the corridors of time to me. Calling me, by name, to something I dare not want or hope for. I cannot resist this command, yet it is more than a command, it is life giving ointment, a salve for my weary soul.
I hear my name, I am sure it is my name, as my ears are opened, and something, no Someone lifts me up. Scales, hard and seemingly impenetrable, fall from my eyes and I see! Dimly, yet it is there, the Light. The call and Light emanate from the same source, so far from me, yet so near, I grope trying to find yet stumbling still.
I have no strength, I am sure that I am not moving, but the Light grows closer, warm and inviting, pure Light, still calling and commanding me to come. These dead, dry bones are now alive. I can see, the Light is all-around, life-giving light, loving yet terrible. I can see who I am and the filth that I carry, the darkness that exudes from every pore, that comes from the center of my being. I see someone, magnificent and frightening, coming towards me.
The Light
It, no HE, is the Light and there is no darkness in Him. He is the One calling me. Calling me out of the path of death and into His Light: Onto a path not known before. It is Narrow and Straight and cannot be traversed by me alone. He calls me, strengthens me, and bathes me in His Word. The darkness recedes, unable to bear the Light, and the filth begins to fall away. My heart beats anew with excitement of life and hope of the future, death no longer has a hold and the grave has lost its sting.
This ONE before me, He has tasted death, I can see the scars. How terrible those scars that HE bears, how horrible that this One who knew no sin, would bear those marks for me. That the ONE who is Life and the Creator of all would taste death for me. Amazing is this Grace, this unmerited and wholly underserved love, that is given to me. I would not resist His call if I could, I would not dare to refuse, even if able, so awesome a gift.
HE has taken my sin, my dirt, and my shame and has given me His righteousness in return. A King who would die for His rebellious people. A Lord who reigns on High who would die for those who hate Him. My Lord and My God, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, to you be the Glory and Honor and Power forever Amen.
What is His name? His name is Jesus. The name above every name. The name that will cause every knee to bow and every tongue confess that He is Lord. Jesus, the name, the only name, given under Heaven whereby men must be saved.